10 January, 2012
“Dear, I have kept your medicine box on the table, take them and sleep. Tomorrow is your surgery so get up early,” said Priyanka’s mom while washing the utensils.
“How many more surgeries,mom?” she asked with frustration in her voice.
Controlling her tears, her mom washed her hands, came near Priyanka and caressed her hair, “Few more surgeries and then my Shona, you will be absolutely fine and beautiful. Now go and sleep”.
Priyanka went to her room, locked the door and closed the windows. Her room was suffocating. Without taking her medicines, she lied down on her bed and covered her body with a quilt. Her eyes gazed on the ceiling fan.
I would have bore all the pains that society gave me but what about the pain given by you? This society treats me like alien but that doesn’t hurt me when compared to our parting.
She got up from the bed and placed the stool below the ceiling fan. She stood up on the stool and tied her favourite pink resham dupatta on the fan. She wept holding that dupatta, as it was one of the memoirs of her love/
As she was about to hang herself she screamed loudly, “I can’t do this! I can’t hang myself! No I can’t”.
As she was getting down from stool, her legs were shaking and sweat surrounded her entire body due to fear. She opened the window to get some fresh air. She drank the entire water from bottle to calm herself down. She then checked her mobile and after some time, as she was surfing twitter, she saw something that made her heart sink.
She logged in to her Gmail account and sent someone a mail. She smiled and got up from the chair.
“I love you,” she said with her eyes gazed on the screen of the computer.
She stood in front of mirror and spitted on the mirror.
You are ugly! I hate you Priyanka! I hate you. No one loves you, all your friends except Neha and Sanjay have stopped talking to you, and your soulmate left you in midway of life when you needed him the most. It’s just because of this face. You are troubling you parents.You should die!
She then took her medicine and fell asleep.
21 February, 2013
“Yes Sir, Thank you so much. I am so grateful to you,” said Sumit excited on the phone.
“Thanks a lot Sir, and I will surely check the mail,” he said and disconnected the call.
Sumit switched on his laptop and logged in to his gmail account. He had received an appointment mail from Traveller Fox to anchor one of their shows.
Yeah. It’s like dream come true. I always wanted to work with them and with all my efforts I finally managed to get the contract signed with them. I will be now travelling the entire world. WEDNESDAY! Wednesday my life will take a new turn. What else I want in life!
He was about to log out from gmail, when he by mistakenly clicked the cursor on the spam folder. He was going through all the mails when he saw a mail from a familiar name. He saw the date of the letter 10 January, 2012. Sweat covered his forehead, his eyes were moistened and he was dumbstruck watching her name flashing on the desktop screen. He clicked on her name and read the email.
Do you remember me? I hope you do! It’s been ages I have not asked about your whereabouts like before. I hope you are doing well and good. How is your anchoring going on? Still rocking the floor, right? What a silly question I am asking of course you will be rocking after all you are a superstar! I saw your reply on Abdul Kalam’s tweet, ‘BEAUTY IS IN HEART AND NOT IN FACE’. I was happy to see your reply, ‘I agree with you sir, beauty of face fades away one day but beauty by heart remains the same forever.’ Do you really mean by your word? If yes then why did you leave me? Or this reply was just to gain popularity?
We both were in eleventh, when we met each other for the first time on fresher’s party. Contestants from science and commerce who wanted to participate in Mr. and Miss Fresher were told to come on stage and that’s how we met. That day too you were looking smart as usual. Any girl would have fallen for you. Black suit and white shirt! You were ShahidKapoor of that time. The first round was introduction round. Not only looks but your modulated voice and your smile with a dimple on right side had given butterfly in my stomach. I wanted to talk to you then and there but my friend told me to control. Time came, when it was my turn to introduce myself. The anchor Manish called my name more than five times but I was so lost in you that I didn’t hear my name. You tapped my shoulder, I turned back and my eyes were wide open, my jaws almost dropped down to see you standing only inches away from me. I wondered when you came down from the stage.
“It’s your turn Madam! Are you nervous?”
“Sorry! I forgot my name has been announced” I said and walked towards stage.
I introduced myself and came down; there were two more contestants who were sitting beside you. I fooled one girl and told her to go and register her name for the competition and finally managed to sit beside you. We had a formal introduction with a hand shake. Second round was to randomly choose any partner and dance with them.
“Would you like to become my partner?” you said and forwarded your hand.
How could I miss such a beautiful opportunity to come close to you? I agreed and gave my hand in yours. I kept continuously staring at you when we both were dancing together. And we were selected as the best Jodi among all. Third round was Question and Answer round. Well you had a great IQ! And you won Mr. Fresher! It was a moment of joy for me. I was bit disappointed because I too deserved to win but unfortunately Shreya became Miss. Fresher. Do you remember how you fooled me by asking me for my cell phone to call your friend as you were short of balance? I gave you my cell and very smartly you had saved your number in my cell and gave a missed called from my phone on your number. At night, when I reached home, I checked my cell and saw your message
‘Hey! I hope you enjoyed my company and thanks for sharing your number with me!’
I kept wondering whole night when did I give you my number. Haha! You are very smart Sumit!
‘Can we be friends? I promise I will never leave you alone whatever happens to you and me.’
The day, you asked me for friendship, I felt as if I have found my best friend in you. Talks initiated and we started meeting on regular basis. We became closer day by day.We started bunking lectures and visited different places of Mumbai. One of my memorable days with you was when we both went to Elephanta Caves. That was the only day when we both were alone otherwise our stupid friends always accompanied us. We both were standing beside each other on ship. It was a moment of Titanic seriously! That was the day, when our friendship had taken a new turn to love.
. I always loved to accompany you on your events. I loved to be a part of crowd and shout your name with other girls when you did anchoring.You know a girl among crowd said that she loves you a lot and I was pretty jealous of her and I said her that I am your girl friend and we are in a serious relationship. I didn’t know that the girl is from our college. After one week, she saw us together near the Nescafe and started congratulating us.
“We are just friends,” you winked at her.
“But she said me, you both are in a serious relationship!” she said passing me an angry look.
“Sweetheart, I thought you didn’t want to disclose about our relationship. Yeah she is my girl friend, my life,” you said with your eyes gazed at me. I knew it wanted answers from me. She went and I explained the entire scenario to you.
You laughed at me, “Hahaha! Pri, do you seriously love me?” you asked with seriousness.
“I don’t know. I have lectures. Bye,” I said and ran from there as I didn’t want to answer your question because I was confused whether its love or infatuation.
I miss our fight that we did in college garden related to stupid topics on Science and Commerce, who is smarter among us. I am still sure Science is thousand times better than moron Commerce. Hehe! I am just kidding dear. I hope you don’t mind for calling you dear. But to be honest, you were, you will and always be my dearo, my sweetiepie, my Sumitwa.
Do you remember, I had once wore a pink shorts and we were roaming in dream park and how some jerks passed stupid comments on me and someone among them called me ‘item’! I cried that night when you shoutedme so hard. I liked your possessiveness for me. From that very day, I had promised myself that I won’t wear shorts ever.
Hey! I still have those letters with me, through which we used to communicate with each other in college. How stupid we were, In spite of having cellphone we passed letters to each other through our common friend. I kiss those letters every night before I sleep. Reading those letters, makes me feel you still love me like before. I still believe one day you will come back to me all my hopes go in vain.
It was Tarangan DJ Night featival in college on 14th November 2000, do you remember the date? Yes! It’s our anniversary date. Till my death, I won’t forget how special you made me feel on that day. Being an anchor of the show, you called me on stage and in front of two thousand students and teachers you proposed by singing song.
“Ek Din Aap you Humko Mil Jayenge
Fool hi fool raho me khiljayenge
Now, my music player does not contain any other song except this one. 24*7 I just keep listening this song. You kissed my hand and wrapped me in your arm. For the first time I felt safe with someone. It was not that I was never in relationship before, but this was the first time I had fallen in True Love. Love, I must salute your guts of proposing me in front of teachers. The very next day, our parents were called; your dad had slapped you in front of our principal, trustee and teachers. We were suspended for two weeks but we hardly cared. My dad understood us and he was by our side but mom! She wanted to kill dad for taking my side as she thought you are not good for me but later on she too understood, you were perfect for me.
Mr. Sumit, do you remember our first kiss? Haha! My class was from 12.30 pm but I had come one hour before the lecture. I was bored and I messaged you, you made an excuse to washroom and straightaway you came to my class room no. 209. You and me, we both were alone; you closed the door. I resisted you to do so but you didn’t listen to me. You pinned me on the wall and locked my hands with your and kissed me on my lips. We were sharing passionate moment with each other, when Neha, my best friend opened the class. Her jaw dropped down in shock and you went out of the class due to embarrassment. Stupid, you had only closed the door but forgot to lock it. Imagine what would have happened if any peon or teacher entered the room!
I never thought our relationship will go so far. Touchwood, I said touching the wood of cupboard for luck. You always asked me, why on Tuesday morning I didn’t pick up your phone and I always changed the question just to hide the truth as I didn’t want to show you how weak I will be without you. I went to Siddhivinayak for us, to pray Lord Ganesha to bless us forever and make us the cutest couple on this earth.
Hey! One second, do you remember how we searched on google the seven vows a bride and groom make to each other on their wedding? We sat down on the stairs of temple, said all the seven promises by holding each other’s hand. I wish I could have married you that day itself!
Nine years passed and time came when we were officially going to make all the seven promises to each other, yes our wedding day. You kept the date on 14thNovember as it was a special day for us. But who knew, destiny is a bitch that parted us on our engagement day itself! 10 October, a day before our engagement day I, you,Neha and Sanjay had planned to run away on our wedding day. Heheh How idiot we were. Just because, I wished to run away and get married you made a plan with our friends. 11 October, 2008 the most awaited day came.
“Shona, I want to meet you as your boyfriend before I officially become your soulmate,” you said and I agreed to meet you at Malad, Infinity Mall.
I was standing at bus stand waiting for the bus. Bus was running a bit late that day. Oh! No these Buses are never on time. A huge crowd was standing in the queue and I ignoring those people’s comment, anger on the conductor and driver was day dreaming about you, me and our journey after marriage. How I will wake up watching your cute face, how you will handle me when I will get angry on you, how we will make our each day special. Suddenly my dream broke when my cell phone felled down as I was lost in my own wonderland. I bent down to pick my cell phone, I got up picking all the battery that had came out of the phone, parts of phone and my sim card when a glass jar that one man was holding it fell on me due to the husle and bustle of the crowd. My face was burning and I realized acid had fallen on me. Yes! That glass bottle contained acid and the pieces of the glass bottle stuck my face. People took me to hospital and had sent the man who carried acid at public places at police station. As you heard, the news you came to hospital to be with me. That time my condition was critical, I was not in my senses but I still felt that you are beside me.Doctor said I lost my right eyes and my right face was burnt completely.
“That doesn’t matter Shona, your soul, your heart is same like before I will be with you always,” you said holding my hands to assure that you still love me.
I was so lucky to have you as my life my soulmate. From the time I was admitted till the time I could properly stand up on my leg you were with me 24 * 7. You gave me a ray of new hope, when I wanted to give up my life in depression. You are the reason why I chose life rather than to die. Your love and support had given me my life back. Writing about this incident not only gives me goosebumps but also brings a tear of blood from eyes, a tear of pain.
But, then what happened to you? Why did you leave me all alone in the middle of the sea? I hated my face a lot but you still found me beautiful with that ugly face, was this all just to show off how good person you are? But I understand, it’s not your fault. It’s my fate that took me away from you. You wanted to become anchor and to make your dream come true you left your life! I know how hard it was for you to choose between life and dream but hearing your parents and few colleagues you choose your carrier, your dream. I remember, how bad you felt when people laughed on you when I accompanied with you during some events. I am so sorry because of me you lost your best buddy Sanjay too as he don’t want to talk to you because he still can’t believe you broke up our nine years of relationship.
“Please Dear! Come back.” No I won’t say these words. I won’t beg in front of you as I am tired of doing so. Each day is like a hell for me. Not a single day has passed when I have slept peacefully. When I close my eyes, your memories wake me up. These memories have shattered me into pieces. This scar on my face doesn’t hurt me that much but our separation is killing me inside. Not even in my wildest dream I imagined of our break up. I am missing our eye to eye conversation, I am missing your soft hands that used to caress my hair, and I am thirsty for your love sweetheart. You know what is hurting me more; you left me alone silently, without even giving me the reason of break up. You changed your number, so that I could not contact you ever and blocked me on facebook too. After every eight months, I am undergoing a face surgery for whom? Just for you but you hardly care about it. Tomorrow again, there is one more surgery. I am fed up of my life.
I just want to say you good bye and good wishes for your future. May you always achieve success in your carrier. I hope you become world’s best television anchor. The seven promise that we made to each other I won’t break ever. I was yours, I am your, I will be yours. Though you left my hands but remember, any time you need me, your love will be there for you. LOVE YOU!
Yours and only yours,
He signed out from gmail. He busted out in tears. The guilt of leaving her alone was visible in his eyes.
“I am a rock star, how can I marry her. This society will laugh on me if I choose to marry her. I cannot take her with me any where because of her burnt face. I have to leave her so that I don’t make a joke of myself in front of the entire world. Yes! I will leave her! I will listen to my mom dad, they are absolutely right. They love me and why will they advise me wrong?”
“Daddaa”, Sumit was lost in his past; he was remembering his last words he said before leaving Priyanka when his three years son interrupted him.
After leaving Priyanka, Sumit’s parent had pressurized him to get married to another girl. He got married to Naina on 20 December, 2009. With passing time he started loving Naina. Sometimes, Naina reminded him of Priyanak as few things were common in them. After a year her wife gave birth to Ayaan, his son.
“I have to go out for an important meeting, will have my lunch on the way,” Sumit said to his wife and walked out of the house with his car keys.
The bell rang and she opened the door. She looked ill. Her face had lost the glow that he had seen on her face years back. Her face and her physic showed that she didn’t have food since ages.
“Aunty, I am Sumit. I want to meet Priyanka, where is she?” he touched her feets and asked about her whereabouts.
Priyanka’s mom couldn’t control her tears. She called him inside and showed her the photo frame that was hung on the wall with a flower garland on it.
“On 10 January, 2012 she had her dinner and went to sleep. I had said her to take her medicine and go to sleep early as she had her surgery next day. After all my chores, I went to check her whether she had slept or not. I opened the door slowly and saw that she was sleeping. She had a beautiful smile on her face. I didn’t go inside as I thought of not disturbing her. As I was closing the door, I saw her computer opened, I went to turn off the comp and saw that she had mailed you a letter! I read and I decided to visit your place and talk to you about it and switched off the PC. I saw a paper half covered under keyboard. I uncovered that paper and read,
“Mom, Dad I am sorry for spending your lakhs of rupees on my surgery,
For you both I was always a winner mom
But this winner has lost the battle of love.
I am trying hard to forget him,
But I couldn’t do so.
Every small thing reminds me of him.
Mom, I am sure you will come to check that whether I slept or not,
I am going to a deep sleep mom,
I won’t wake up ever.
Tell Dad, his champion is a looser,
Tell him, not to cry for such a looser child.
Tell him, Thankyou for being my best friend for these many years.
Tell him, I love him a lot.
I wish to have parents like you forever.
Tell Sanjay and Neha, thanks for their friendship,
They were beside me during the hardest phase of my life.
If by chance, sumit reads my letter and comes to visit me
Tell him, not to cry.. I could bear everything but not tears in his eyes.
Tell him even if I leave this world my soul will always be with him.
Tell him, how much I loved him.. Tell him no don’t tell him anything
Let him understand on his own how much he meant to me.
I wish he would have not been with me together for more than nine years,
I could have easily forgotten him..
I wish I would have not loved him truly..
Mom, I am sorry for every wrong thing I did, I am sorry for being angry with you..
I love you Maaaaaaa. Bye and take care.
I got scared, my heart beats stopped for a while and suddenly it started beating so fast due to fear of losing my child. I gathered some courage and went near her and saw some white fluid flowing from her mouth! I saw the box that was kept on the table, was empty! She had consumed the entire tablet that was in her box. I felled down on the ground,” said Priyanka’s mom and buried her face over Sumit’s shoulder.
“She ran and came to our room where I was sleeping. She woke me up and told about the entire incident. I checked her and we took her to hospital. Till we reached hospital, my daughter gave up. She closed her eyes forever. She was dead. My champion daughter who never lost hope in anything had lost all her hope for a new life.Mr.Sumit, the anchor you killed my daughter. Yes! You. We could have complained against you but my daughter never wanted you to be in trouble that’s why we didn’t say police all this. Are you happy now? “, his father said catching his collar in anger.
He stared Priyanka’s photo on the wall. Her smiling face, cute eyes and her joint eyebrows reminded Sumit, how beautiful she was. Her smile reflected her heart.
“I am sorry Pri, I am sorry,” he said and ran away from there.
Sumit was back to his home. His shirt was half in and half out. He was holding a bottle of wine in his hand. His eyes were filled with tears. He was not in a condition to walk.
“Are you okay?” his wife enquired.
“She left me, I killed her, I killed my Shona. I killed her”
“Whom did you killed?,” she was scared.
“If by chance, sumit reads my letter and comes to visit me
Tell him not to cry.. I could bear everything but not tears in his eyes.
Tell him even if I leave this world my soul will always be with him.
Tell him, how much I loved him.. Tell him no don’t tell him anything
Let him understand on his own how much he meant to me. These were her last words, I killed her.. I killed my love.”
He continued, “How can I be so mean? I am bad. What was her fault that she became a victim of acid attack? Nothing. Then why did I punish her? She was my life. How did I get influenced by my parent’s advice and left her. I am nothing without her. I always tried to find her in you, compared her with you but the love she did to me is incomparable with anyone. I became selfish and chose my dream. But dream without life is incomplete, how did I forget this? I walked out of her life without realizing the effect of this decision of mine on her?”
Sumit went along with Naina to his room, opened the cupboard and removed the suitcase that was locked from the day he parted away withPriyanka. He undusted the suitcase and opened it.
“These letters, we wrote in college to feel love of olden days, these snaps are those we had clicked while making seven promises to each other at the staircase of Shiv Mandir. This Mangalsutra, I had purchased to gift her on our wedding night. This chain with the locket having ’SP’ was gifted to me by her on our second anniversary. This snap is of Tarangan night, my best friend Sanjay had clicked for me when I proposed her. We were so happy together. Our life was complete with each other’s company. But she left me, she left me forever. She will never forgive me for the pain I have given her. What should I do Naina? Please help me, the guilt of killing her is hard to digest, please help me please”, he begged to Naina
He got up from the bed and started roaming in the entire room drinking wine while on the other hand Naina, was in a deep shock as she was unable to understand what was going on. Unable to manage himself, Sumit fell down on the floor and closed his eyes as he was sleepy.
‘Beauty is in heart and not in face, Beauty of FACE fades away but beauty in HEART remains the same forever. I love you Pri, I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you Pri, I am sorry. Please forgive me,” he kept muttering entire night.
Beauty of face fades away but beauty by heart remains the same forever. Beauty is in heart and not in face.