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Stop Judging me by my Appearance.

“Appearance-wise you are a girl but your behavior is like a boy,” my friends in college told me.

“What kind of behavior of mine, made you think I am like a boy?” I asked.

“They way you talk, the way you walk, Your style, your attitude is like a boy,” came their reply.

“If you are like this, no man will date you! Because men needs a girl who knows how to flirt, who knows to blush, they need a girl who walk like a model, they should know to cook their favorite dishes and the one whose rate of speech is less and speaks in a low voice. You are exactly opposite of it.”

I need a man who respects me for who I am and not a coward, who’ll judge by my appearance.
***

“You know your daughter, how fast she uses her tongue. What if she lands up in a fight in a complete unknown city. God knows what can happen to her, after all she is a girl. And the world is not a safe place. If she knew how to keep her tongue in control, she could have gone.”

If their opinion would have mattered to me I would not come to Bangalore ever!

***

I was once having a conversation with my roommate in PG.
“I am going to start dieting from tomorrow, when you leave for office wake me up. I need to start doing Yoga from tomorrow”

“How come suddenly you decided to lose weight?”

“My dad, he is searching a guy for me.”

“So?” I gave her amused look as I didn’t understand the reason behind her dieting and exercise.

“See… The first thing the man and his family members notices is a girls size and then her behavior. Who would want to marry an obese fat woman?”

“And girls can marry obese fat man?” I gave her back.

What if a girl is slim, has sexy figure but won’t respect anyone. Will the guy still marry her? Is sexy curves more important or a women with whom he can leave a happy life!

***

“Don’t smile every time on stage OK?, like your cousin did on her wedding!” my mother told my sister.

“It’s her wedding and a big day for her. Is smiling a sin? No Right? Then why are you stopping her for smiling in her own wedding?”

“There is nothing wrong, but in our native, girls should blush instead of showing her teeth. ”

“Nonsense”

“Look dear, there are certain codes a woman has to follow. What will people think if she continuously show her teeth, they’ll think she is too excited to get married.”

“Of course she is, her life is taking a new turn, won’t she be excited. I am telling when I get married I’ll smile whole day and let me see what people talk!”

***

“Didn’t you ever feel that you should have been a boy, instead of a girl?”

“Never. I feel God blessed me by making me a girl!”

***

“Smoothing your hair won’t make you look beautiful, for that you need to lose weight too,” one of my colleagues told me.

“You should learn to dress like a girl,” told other friends from Bangalore.

***

“Kanika is a fourth boy of our training class,” said Dhana Lakshmi while introducing her best friend in one seminar.

“I thought she is a girl,” I told her.

“I mean her behavior.”

“When you compare yourself with boys, don’t expect world to stop comparing you and treat you with equality!” I said and left.

***

nihar-naturals-statistics-women-1
Statistics by Nihar Naturals #IAmCapable survey conducted by Nielsen India

1. 69% of men agree that their judgement of women is based on their looks.

2. 64% of women agree that the judgments passed on them have affected their ability to reach their true potential.

3. 70%of women agree that majority of judgments on women are from family members or friends rather than strangers.

4. 72% of women agree that working women face more judgments on their looks or their clothes than housewives.

Tall, short, fat, weak, fair, dusky, sexy, typical women and what not! Every women must have been labelled with these names or other because of their appearance.

We say “Do not judge a book by its cover,” but still we judge a person by their appearance. Since college days, I have been judged by my appearance. When I was a kid, I was named ‘DON’ by other kids of my society. In school, I was called TOMBOY. In college people started comparing me with ‘BOYS’. I thought in office it’ll stop. But No! It didn’t. Just because of my talking and walking style, colleagues and friends started comparing ‘How I am just like a boy!’. When I was a kid, I would feel proud when someone told I am like a boy because at that time due to influence of the society, I too felt boys are strong, they can have all the freedoms, A boy child gets more advantage than a girl child. But as I matured, as I started to have my own view, as I started experiencing, I would get irritated if someone called me a boy.

Women has always been judged by her appearance, If a girl wears shorts she is considered as a time pass material. People think she is outgoing and must have many boyfriends in life. She has no value for tradition! Just because she is wearing shorts or micro miniskirts doesn’t means she don’t value our culture. Might me she values more than you.

Women who wear traditional suits are called as ‘behenji’. They think such girls are boring. A girl dressed in salwar suit all the time might be a champion in sports or might be more entertaining than a person who judges her. Might be she is comfortable in those clothes.

Corporate women, always face these kinds of judgement. People always judge them by their looks. How disgusting it feels to be judged by looks. They don’t understand that their judgement can affect someone’s confidence or might depress them.

I have always been judged by people around me. From family members to friends and colleagues. As I have grown up, whenever people judge me, I just smile and say to myself, ‘I fucking don’t care about your opinion on my appearance. Because I know #IamCapable of doing everything I can. And I know to do something, outer appearance doesn’t matter.’

Just because I don’t apply makeup doesn’t mean I am not beautiful.

Just because I don’t blush doesn’t mean I don’t feel shy.

Just because I don’t dress-up daily, doesn’t mean I don’t have dressing sense.

Just because I don’t speak, doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings.

Just because you think I am a boy, doesn’t mean I really am!

Stop judging me because you have no idea who I am and what #IAmCapable of.

Your thinking doesn’t matter to me but I am trying to break stereotypes based on appearance!

Had her husband judged her by her looks, she would have not got married and gave birth to such a cute kid! Its a lesson for all of us 'to see beyond looks, to stop being judgmental on looks. Hats-off to her husband!
Had her husband judged her by her looks, she would have not got married and gave birth to such a cute kid! Its a lesson for all of us ‘to see beyond looks, to stop being judgmental on looks. Hats-off to her husband! PC: http://www.thequint.com/photos/2015/11/06/activist-and-now-mother-acid-attack-survivor-laxmis-new-role

 

 

“I’m breaking stereotypes based on appearance by sharing my experience for the #IAmCapable activity at BlogAdda in association with Nihar Naturals.”

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Rekha Mishra

Blogger. Dreamer. Enthusiast. Learner. I love to laugh and share the laughter with the world.

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